Hunting Intimacy




Just now, I stumbled upon the post of an old friend talking to a business client who is eager to learn about her status — if she has a boyfriend, to be exact.

In the scope of linguistic technicalities, there are certain degrees of meanings and contexts associated with the utterance.

For example, when you say: “It’s cold in here”, in one aspect, you are stating the current temperature of the area. But more than that, you are saying something else. Maybe turn on the heater, or give you a sweater. A request. A plea. Something else.

This is what we call Illocutionary Act.

In her case, the guy asked/claimed/verified her current relationship status: “Edi ma’am, you have a boyfriend naman?” The way it was delivered, it’s not a question actually. More like a phrase that hopes for an answer that will pave his way towards her.

It’s actually absurd how people constantly hunt intimacy, as if the core of their identity lies in another person’s existence. It’s strange how they didn’t process the fact that relationships and commitments are obligations which demand strength to survive life’s surge.

It’s weird how most people looked at love as a field of peaches during the harvest time and not as two palm trees trying to weather the storms of the barren lands.


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