Thoughts and Febby

Come back, they say.

It’s almost a year since I graduated, and I never ceased missing UPLB, I never did.

I miss the old days and the long nights. I miss the endless walks around Freedom Park, the crunching footfalls, the wide expanse of canopies, the towering trees. I miss the buildings and the lectures, the isaw in Reymundo, and the way we meet our friends in cafes and pubs.

I miss the green shades and the comfort of an inward life and the spaces in the hearts of the gentle folks of Los Baños.

It’s almost a year since I graduated, and I still visit the place from time to time — Freedom Park, the canopies, the college hallways, the trees in Forestry, the isaw in Reymundo, the buildings where I used to live and shed thousand selves. It was nostalgic, but more than that it was painful.

I miss that precise time period in life when I was inhabiting Elbi. The day to day routine; the familiar faces of our old friends in the crowd. The time when happiness has meaning and when life was bearable and worth living.

It’s almost a year since I graduated but I was not able to move on. It’s like after the blaring sounds and cheers and graduation event last year, I stayed in the venue — stuck and immobile and unable to let go.

And I was just there, that way, as everything, every life, recedes far, far away from me. And I sat there. And I held on.

Come back, they say.
There are jobs in Los Baños, why not apply, they ask.

That could be an option, I agree. But more than the place, it is Time I’m after. It’s the old days I want to live again, and I don’t have any portal for that.

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