Comes and goes

“So, my roommate pointed to me how İ constantly talk about death. She asked: ‘Why do you always say these things?’ İ bluntly told her: ‘Because there simply is no point in living.'”

“That reminds me of what Nietzsche said: ‘Life is meaningless.’ And İ agree with that actually.. Like, İ can die right now. Like, so long as it is painless, İ do not mind dying right now. No more regrets. No more worries. No nothing. İt’s done.”

“True. Same sentiment.”

“İf people ask me why İ do PhD, İ’ve no profound reason actually. There simply has nothing else to do so İ opted for PhD. Life is meaningless anyway.”

“Samedt. İf people ask me why İ study in Turkey, İ’ve no profound reason as well. İ simply want to get out of a shithole country. Life is meaningless anyway. İ guess this realization of meaninglessness explains why figures from the past led their lives in a decadent way. Oscar Wilde. Rilke. Nietzsche. Bukowski. Kerouac. Etc.”

“True. Life is meaningless so you do whatever you want.”

“Somehow it’s liberating, no? İt relieves you of accountability.”

“Haha! Life being meaningless should be a pessimistic thought and yet, here we are – finding liberation in that!”

“Yea. Look at Plath. She sought meaning in a world where none exists. Ending: she killed herself.”

“We do what we do because life is meaningless anyway. Drink till dawn. Write a paper. Don’t write a paper. Spend all our money buying things we want.”

“Or have an affair. Live a double life. Sleep around. Be a mistress. Give in to polyamory since monogamy is too rigid and stifling and overbearing. İ’m actually thinking of doing this academic thing on one end, and prostituting myself on the other. Not because İ need money, no, but because life, simply, is meaningless. So we do what we want to do. Live. Then die. Get on with it.”

“Travel.the world. Spend money. Live a bourgeiouse life because we can. Life is meaningless anyway.”

“Come to think of it: the impact of that thought may vary. For instance, if you are struggling in a poor country and you internalize this thought, this will indubitably lead to hopelessness. İf you are in a good country and you internalize this thought, chances are you’ll opt to live it the other way around. We’re lucky, İ guess. We have options.”

“Well life is meaningless. We can opt to live it in a decadent fashion or allot our time to social struggle. Maybe we do the latter?”

“Nah. İ prefer a decadent one.”